Chapter 6: The Promise Maya Was Afraid to Break
Marcus called Renee before he could talk himself out of it.
She answered immediately.
“Marcus?””
“Renee, what happened when you visited?””
A brief silence followed.
“I was hoping you would call.””
“Please. Tell me everything.””
Renee sighed.
“About a month ago, I came by after Maya's school play. I had a little gift for her, and I wanted to hear how she thought it went.””
Marcus remembered that evening. He had arrived home late after an emergency meeting at work. Tara had told him Maya was tired and had gone to bed early.
“I didn't know you came over,” he said.
“I know. Tara told me you were working and that Maya wasn't feeling well. She said it wasn't a good time.””
Marcus closed his eyes.
“What happened?””
“When I finally saw Maya, she was different. She hugged me, but she kept looking over her shoulder. I asked if she was okay, and she said she wasn't supposed to talk about her mother anymore.””
Marcus sat forward.
“What?””
“She told me Tara said it made you sad.””
For several seconds, Marcus couldn't speak.
Renee continued gently.
“I asked Maya whether you had actually said that. She told me she didn't know. She said Tara had told her not to bring up her mother when you were around because it made things difficult for you.””
Marcus pressed his fingers against his forehead.
He had never asked Maya to stop talking about her mother.
He had never wanted her to forget.
If anything, he had worried that he wasn't doing enough to preserve those memories.
“Did Maya say anything else?”” he asked.
“Yes. She asked if she could keep the little bracelet her mother gave her. Tara had apparently told her it looked childish and that she should put it away.””
Marcus remembered the bracelet.
It was a simple silver chain with a tiny heart charm. Maya's mother had bought it for her before she became too ill to go shopping.
Maya wore it on special occasions.
He had seen it on her wrist at Christmas.
“Renee, why didn't you tell me?””
“I tried. Tara said you were overwhelmed with work and that you needed peace at home. She said she was handling things and that you had asked her to keep family matters private.””
Marcus looked toward the closed office door.
“Did you believe her?””
“I wanted to. You seemed happy, and I didn't want to cause trouble in your marriage. But then Maya called me from a number I didn't recognize.””
“When?””
“Two weeks ago.””
Marcus gripped the phone.
“What did she say?””
“She whispered that she missed me. Then she asked whether I would still love her if she wasn't a good girl.””
Marcus stood so abruptly that his chair scraped against the floor.
“Oh, God.””
“I asked her what she meant. She said Tara told her that people only stayed in a family when everyone behaved properly.””
Renee's voice trembled.
“I told her I would love her no matter what. I told her she could always call me. But before I could ask where she was, the phone went dead.””
Marcus looked toward the hallway.
Maya was asleep in her bedroom.
He wanted to wake her, hold her, and tell her that none of this was her fault.
But he also knew she had spent enough time worrying about adults' feelings.
He needed to handle this carefully.
“Renee,” he said, “I need you to come over tomorrow.””
“I can be there in an hour.””
“Tomorrow is fine. Maya needs a quiet night.””
“All right. But Marcus?””
“Yes?””
“Please don't let Tara convince you that this is just a misunderstanding. Maya is a sweet child, but she's been trying very hard not to upset anyone. That's not normal.””
Marcus swallowed.
“I know.””
After they ended the call, he sat in the dark for a long time.
He thought about the little girl upstairs.
The girl who had asked whether she was allowed to stay in her own home.
The girl who had hidden her birthday card because she was afraid of ruining a photograph.
The girl who had apparently been carrying the weight of his marriage on her small shoulders.
He went to her room.
Maya was asleep on her side, one hand curled beneath her cheek. Her purple jacket lay folded on the chair. Beside her pillow was the drawing she had made of the staircase.
Marcus sat beside her and gently brushed a curl away from her forehead.
“I'm sorry, baby,” he whispered.
She stirred.
“Daddy?””
“I'm here.””
“Is it morning?””
“No, sweetheart. Go back to sleep.””
She opened her eyes just enough to see him.
“Are you still here?””
He took her hand.
“Yes.””
Maya closed her eyes again.
“Okay.””
Marcus remained beside her until she fell asleep.
The next morning, he made pancakes.
He didn't care that he burned the first batch or that the kitchen ended up covered in flour. Maya sat at the counter in her pajamas, watching him with a cautious smile.
“Daddy, those look funny.””
“They're artistic.””
“They look like clouds.””
“Exactly. Cloud pancakes.””
She giggled.
The sound nearly brought him to tears.
For the first time in weeks, she seemed like a child who had forgotten to be afraid.
He placed a plate in front of her.
“Do you want strawberries?””
“Yes, please.””
He cut them into little hearts, and Maya watched him carefully.
“Daddy?””
“Yeah?””
“Can we do something today?””
“Anything you want.””
“Can we go to the park where Mommy took me when I was little?””
Marcus paused.
“Of course.””
Maya looked down at her plate.
“Tara said you didn't like going there because it reminded you of Mommy.””
Marcus set the knife down.
“Your mother and I made a lot of good memories there. It's okay to remember them.””
Maya looked up.
“Really?””
“Really.””
“Even if Tara doesn't like it?””
Marcus took a seat beside her.
“Baby, you don't have to stop loving one person to make room for another.””
She stared at him for a long moment.
Then she nodded.
“Okay.””
They were halfway through breakfast when Tara entered the kitchen.
She had changed into jeans and a cream sweater. Her hair was tied back, and she looked exhausted.
Maya's smile vanished.
Her fork stopped halfway to her mouth.
Tara noticed.
“Good morning,” she said.
Maya lowered her eyes.
“Good morning.””
Tara looked at the pancakes.
“You made breakfast?””
Marcus didn't look up.
“Yes.””
“I could have done that.””
“I know.””
Tara pulled out a chair.
“Can we talk?””
“Not in front of Maya.””
“She's part of this family.””
Marcus looked at her.
“Then start treating her like it.””
Tara flinched.
Maya carefully placed her fork on the plate.
“I'm finished.””
Marcus turned toward her.
“You've barely eaten.””
“I'm not hungry.””
He recognized the expression on her face. She was trying to make herself smaller again, trying to disappear before the adults began arguing.
He pushed his chair back.
“Would you like to eat upstairs with me?””
Maya nodded quickly.
They carried their plates to the small sitting room at the back of the house.
Before leaving the kitchen, Marcus turned toward Tara.
“We'll talk later.””
Tara's jaw tightened.
“You can't keep shutting me out.””
“I'm protecting her from another argument.””
He walked away.
Upstairs, Maya sat beside him and took a small bite of pancake.
“Daddy?””
“Yes?””
“Do you think Tara hates me?””
Marcus took a moment to answer.
“I think Tara has some feelings and problems she needs to work through. But whatever she's feeling, it isn't your responsibility to fix.””
Maya looked at the strawberries.
“Can I tell you something else?””
“Of course.””
She hesitated.
“Sometimes, when you're at work, Tara asks me questions about Mommy.””
Marcus went still.
“What kind of questions?””
“She asks if Mommy used to make you happier. She asks if you talk about Mommy when we're alone.””
“Do you know why she asks those things?””
Maya shook her head.
“I tell her I don't know. Then she gets quiet.””
Marcus kept his voice gentle.
“What happens after that?””
Maya rubbed her thumb against the edge of her plate.
“She tells me that if I really love you, I should help you move on.””
Marcus stared at her.
“How?””
“She says I should stop asking to go to the park where Mommy took me. She says I should stop talking about the songs Mommy used to sing. She says I should let you be happy with your new family.””
Marcus set his plate aside.
“Maya, look at me.””
She raised her eyes.
“You are not preventing me from being happy.””
“But—”
“No. Listen carefully. You are my daughter.
You are not responsible for my feelings about your mother, my marriage, or anything else. You don't have to protect me from memories. You don't have to make yourself quiet so other people can be comfortable.””
Maya's eyes filled.
“I tried.””
He moved closer.
“I know you did.””
“I tried really hard to be good.””
Marcus pulled her into his arms.
“You have always been good enough.””
She began crying against his shoulder, and he held her while the sunlight moved across the carpet.
When she finally pulled away, she wiped her face with her sleeve.
“Can I ask you one more thing?””
“Anything.””
“Will you still love me if you and Tara don't stay married?””
Marcus felt the question settle into his chest.
He gently held her face between his hands.
“I will love you if I'm married. I'll love you if I'm not married. I'll love you when you're happy, when you're sad, when you make mistakes, and when you don't know what to do. Nothing that happens between grown-ups can change that.””
Maya searched his face.
“Promise?””
“I promise.””
She leaned forward and hugged him again.
A knock sounded at the door.
Daniel stood in the hallway.
“Marcus, Renee is here.””
Maya lifted her head.
“Aunt Renee?””
Marcus nodded.
“She came to see you.””
Maya slid off the couch and hurried toward the stairs, then stopped halfway.
She looked back at him.
“Is Tara going to be mad?””
Marcus walked over and took her hand.
“That's not something you need to worry about.””
Renee was waiting in the living room with a small gift bag. When she saw Maya, she opened her arms.
Maya ran into them.
“I missed you,” she whispered.
“I missed you too, sweetheart.””
Renee kissed her curls and held her for a long moment.
Then she looked over Maya's shoulder at Marcus.
Her expression was serious.
“There's something else I need to tell you.””
Marcus felt the familiar knot return to his stomach.
“What is it?””
Renee glanced toward the staircase, where Maya was already showing Daniel the little silver bracelet she had taken from her jewelry box.
“I found something in Maya's backpack last month,” Renee said quietly.
“I didn't understand what it meant at the time.””
“What did you find?””
“A letter.””
“From whom?””
Renee reached into her handbag and pulled out a sealed envelope.
“Maya's mother.””
Marcus stared at it.
“That isn't possible. Her mother died years ago.””
“I know.””
Renee handed him the envelope.
“The letter was written before she died. She asked me to keep it until Maya was old enough to understand it.””
Marcus looked at the handwriting on the front.
He recognized it instantly.
His late wife's handwriting.
But beneath her name was a sentence that made his blood run cold.
*For Maya, when she begins to feel that she doesn't belong.*
Marcus slowly lifted his eyes toward Renee.
“When did Maya get this?””
Renee's face tightened.
“She told me Tara found it first.””
Marcus gripped the envelope.
“And what did Tara do with it?””
Renee looked toward the staircase.
“She told Maya that her mother had written it because she knew you would eventually replace her.””
Marcus felt the room tilt.
Renee lowered her voice.
“But that's not what the letter says, Marcus. I read it before I gave it to Maya.””
He stared at the envelope.
“What does it say?””
Renee took a trembling breath.
“It says that one day, someone might try to make Maya feel like loving her mother means she can't be part of a new family.””
Marcus looked down at the envelope, his fingers shaking.
Then he turned it over.
The seal had already been broken.
May you like
And in Tara's handwriting, across the back, were four words.
*She must never read this.*
