Chapter 9: The Last Thing My Mother Hid
By noon, we had a location.
The private storage facility stood on the edge of town, behind a row of warehouses and an auto repair shop. It was the kind of place people used when they needed to store furniture between moves or keep boxes they didn't want taking up space in their homes.
According to the facility manager didn't want taking up space in their homes.
According to the facility manager, the supplemental hospital records had been placed in Unit S-17 six years earlier.
The unit had remained untouched until three weeks ago.
That was when Vanessa had arrived, the supplemental hospital records had been placed in Unit S-17 six years earlier.
The unit had remained untouched until three weeks ago.
That was when Vanessa had arrived with identification and a notarized authorization bearing Dr. Malcolm Reed's signature.
The manager had released the box.
with identification and a notarized authorization bearing Dr. Malcolm Reed's signature.
The manager had released the box.
But he had also noticed something unusual.
Vanessa hadn't taken everything.
She had removed aBut he had also noticed something unusual.
Vanessa hadn't taken everything.
She had removed a single envelope, left the rest of the contents behind, and asked whether the unit could remain under the same account.
When Detective Brooks explained that the records might be single envelope, left the rest of the contents behind, and asked whether the unit could remain under the same account.
When Detective Brooks explained that the records might be relevant to an investigation, the manager agreed to preserve the remaining materials pending appropriate legal authorization.
My father relevant to an investigation, the manager agreed to preserve the remaining materials pending appropriate legal authorization.
My father wanted to go immediately.
Harold insisted that we wait until the detective confirmed the next steps wanted to go immediately.
Harold insisted that we wait until the detective confirmed the next steps.
I understood both positions.
But all I could think about was the envelope my mother had hidden in her gown.
The key marked S-17.
The.
I understood both positions.
But all I could think about was the envelope my mother had hidden in her gown.
The key marked S-17.
The fact that Vanessa had apparently found the records before we knew they existed.
And the possibility that the truth about my mother's death had been sitting in a storage fact that Vanessa had apparently found the records before we knew they existed.
And the possibility that the truth about my mother's death had been sitting in a storage unit while we spent six years pretending that grief was the only thing we had to survive.
At 1: unit while we spent six years pretending that grief was the only thing we had to survive.
At 1:15 p.m., Detective Brooks called.
“We have authorization to secure the remaining materials,” she said.
“I15 p.m., Detective Brooks called.
“We have authorization to secure the remaining materials,” she said.
“I want you to understand that you are not to remove anything or handle documents want you to understand that you are not to remove anything or handle documents without permission. We'll document everything.””
“Understood.””
“We'll meet you there.””
without permission. We'll document everything.””
“Understood.””
“We'll meet you there.””
When I hung up, my father was already reaching for his keys.
“Let's goWhen I hung up, my father was already reaching for his keys.
“Let's go.””
Brianna stood near the study door, holding her handbag by the damaged strap.
“I should come.””
Brianna stood near the study door, holding her handbag by the damaged strap.
“I should come, too.””
My father looked at her.
“Why?””
“Because I recognize the paperwork Mom used. If there's, too.””
My father looked at her.
“Why?””
“Because I recognize the paperwork Mom used. If there's anything connected to her, I might be able to identify it.””
He hesitated.
Then he nodded.
“But you follow anything connected to her, I might be able to identify it.””
He hesitated.
Then he nodded.
“But you follow the detective's instructions.””
“I will.””
The drive to the storage facility took twenty minutes.
Nobody spoke much.
Dad kept both the detective's instructions.””
“I will.””
The drive to the storage facility took twenty minutes.
Nobody spoke much.
Dad kept both hands on the steering wheel. Brianna sat in the back, staring at the floor. I held the inventory from hands on the steering wheel.
Brianna sat in the back, staring at the floor. I held the inventory from Harold's briefcase and read the words silver key marked S-17 over and over.
When we Harold's briefcase and read the words silver key marked S-17 over and over.
When we arrived, Detective Brooks was waiting beside two uniformed officers.
The facility manager, a middle-aged man named Mr. arrived, Detective Brooks was waiting beside two uniformed officers.
The facility manager, a middle-aged man named Mr. Lewis, led us to a row of storage units.
He stopped in front of a gray metal Lewis, led us to a row of storage units.
He stopped in front of a gray metal door.
“S-17,” he said.
Detective Brooks checked the authorization, then door.
“S-17,” he said.
Detective Brooks checked the authorization, then nodded to the manager.
He entered the access code.
The door rolled upward.
Inside were three cardboard nodded to the manager.
He entered the access code.
The door rolled upward.
Inside were three cardboard boxes, a plastic storage container, and a small metal filing cabinet.
Dust covered the floor.
But the boxes, a plastic storage container, and a small metal filing cabinet.
Dust covered the floor.
But the filing cabinet was open.
One drawer hung crookedly, and several folders had been removed.
Detective filing cabinet was open.
One drawer hung crookedly, and several folders had been removed.
Detective Brooks stepped inside with the officers.
“Please remain outside until we've documented the scene.””
Brooks stepped inside with the officers.
“Please remain outside until we've documented the scene.””
We waited in the corridor.
Through the open door, I watched the detective photograph theWe waited in the corridor.
Through the open door, I watched the detective photograph the cabinet, the boxes, and the folders scattered on the floor.
After several minutes, she called us in.
“ cabinet, the boxes, and the folders scattered on the floor.
After several minutes, she called us in.
“Don't touch anything,” she reminded us.
I stepped inside.
The air smelled of cardboardDon't touch anything,” she reminded us.
I stepped inside.
The air smelled of cardboard and old paper.
The first box contained hospital forms, medication logs, and photocopies of physician orders.
The second contained financial and old paper.
The first box contained hospital forms, medication logs, and photocopies of physician orders.
The second contained financial records, including several invoices from Bellamy Holdings.
The third held personal correspondence and a small cassette records, including several invoices from Bellamy Holdings.
The third held personal correspondence and a small cassette recorder.
Brianna pointed toward the second box.
“That's Mom's handwriting.””
She indicated recorder.
Brianna pointed toward the second box.
“That's Mom's handwriting.””
She indicated a folder with the name Bellamy Holdings written across the tab.
Detective Brooks photographed it a folder with the name Bellamy Holdings written across the tab.
Detective Brooks photographed it before opening the folder.
Inside were copies of bank statements, payment authorizations, and correspondence between Vanessa and Dr. Reed.
One letter had been dated three weeks after my mother's before opening the folder.
Inside were copies of bank statements, payment authorizations, and correspondence between Vanessa and Dr. Reed.
One letter had been dated three weeks after my mother's death.
*The requested transfer has been completed. The supplemental records are secured death.
The requested transfer has been completed. The supplemental records are secured. Please confirm that no further action is required.
The letter was signed by Malcolm Reed.
My father stared at it.
“He helped her hide. Please confirm that no further action is required.*
The letter was signed by Malcolm Reed.
My father stared at it.
“He helped her hide the records.””
“That's what it appears to suggest,” Detective Brooks said.
“We'll need to authenticate the the records.””
“That's what it appears to suggest,” Detective Brooks said.
“We'll need to authenticate the document and determine what transfer it refers to.””
I moved toward the first box.
A medication document and determine what transfer it refers to.””
I moved toward the first box.
A medication log lay on top.
The entries showed the times and dosages of several medications administered log lay on top.
The entries showed the times and dosages of several medications administered during my mother's final hospitalization.
One line had been marked with a handwritten star.
Beneath it was a note.
* during my mother's final hospitalization.
One line had been marked with a handwritten star.
Beneath it was a note.
Verbal order received from Dr. Price. Administration time amended per Dr. Reed.
I felt my pulseVerbal order received from Dr. Price. Administration time amended per Dr. Reed.*
I felt my pulse quicken.
“Detective, look at this.””
She stepped beside me.
Her expression quicken.
“Detective, look at this.””
She stepped beside me.
Her expression tightened as she read the note.
“Photograph this page and flag it for the medical tightened as she read the note.
“Photograph this page and flag it for the medical records examiner.””
An officer took several photographs.
I stared at the paper.
Two records examiner.””
An officer took several photographs.
I stared at the paper.
Two doctors had been involved in the same medication entry.
One had given the order.
The other had amended the doctors had been involved in the same medication entry.
One had given the order.
The other had amended the time.
And the amendment had been made after my mother's death.
“Can that prove something happened?”” I asked.
time.
And the amendment had been made after my mother's death.
“Can that prove something happened?”” I asked.
“Not by itself,” Detective Brooks replied.
“Medical records can contain corrections for legitimate reasons. We need the complete chart, the original“Not by itself,” Detective Brooks replied.
“Medical records can contain corrections for legitimate reasons. We need the complete chart, the original orders, and expert review.””
I nodded.
She was right.
I needed to stop orders, and expert review.””
I nodded.
She was right.
I needed to stop looking at every suspicious detail as if it were the final answer.
But then Brianna found the envelope.
It was looking at every suspicious detail as if it were the final answer.
But then Brianna found the envelope.
It was tucked inside the back of the filing cabinet, behind a thin metal panel.
“Detective,” she said tucked inside the back of the filing cabinet, behind a thin metal panel.
“Detective,” she said.
“There's something here.””
She pointed without touching it.
A small brown envelope had been.
“There's something here.””
She pointed without touching it.
A small brown envelope had been wedged into the narrow gap.
Detective Brooks photographed its position and carefully removed it.
On the front, in my mother's handwriting, were four words.
* wedged into the narrow gap.
Detective Brooks photographed its position and carefully removed it.
On the front, in my mother's handwriting, were four words.
For Daniel and Nia.
My father made a sound I hadFor Daniel and Nia.*
My father made a sound I had never heard from him before.
It was somewhere between a gasp and a sob.
The detective examined the envelope.
“It appears never heard from him before.
It was somewhere between a gasp and a sob.
The detective examined the envelope.
“It appears to have been sealed for some time. We'll document it before opening.””
She photographed both to have been sealed for some time. We'll document it before opening.””
She photographed both sides and then carefully lifted the flap.
Inside was a folded letter and a small photograph.
sides and then carefully lifted the flap.
Inside was a folded letter and a small photograph.
The photograph showed my mother standing beside a hospital bed.
She was alive.
She was smiling.
The photograph showed my mother standing beside a hospital bed.
She was alive.
She was smiling.
And beside her stood my father, holding her hand.
The date on the back was from the night before she diedAnd beside her stood my father, holding her hand.
The date on the back was from the night before she died.
My father took a step forward.
“I was there.””
I turned.
My father took a step forward.
“I was there.””
I turned toward him.
“You said you didn't go back.””
He stared at the photograph.
“I didn't remember this.””
His voice was almost inaudible.
“I toward him.
“You said you didn't go back.””
He stared at the photograph.
“I didn't remember this.””
His voice was almost inaudible.
“I remember the argument. I remember leaving. I remember her calling me.””
He looked at me.
remember the argument. I remember leaving. I remember her calling me.””
He looked at me.
“But I don't remember going back to the hospital.””
Detective Brooks examined the photograph.
“Do you recognize the room?””
“Yes,” Dad“But I don't remember going back to the hospital.””
Detective Brooks examined the photograph.
“Do you recognize the room?””
“Yes,” Dad whispered.
“It's her room.””
He touched the edge of the picture.
“I must have whispered.
“It's her room.””
He touched the edge of the picture.
“I must have gone back after I left the house.””
“Do you remember speaking to her?””
He shook his head.
“No gone back after I left the house.””
“Do you remember speaking to her?””
He shook his head.
“No.””
The detective placed the photograph in a protective sleeve.
“We'll examine the date and any other identifying details.””
The detective placed the photograph in a protective sleeve.
“We'll examine the date and any other identifying details. Memory can be incomplete during periods of extreme stress, but we shouldn't draw conclusions from the photograph. Memory can be incomplete during periods of extreme stress, but we shouldn't draw conclusions from the photograph alone.””
My father nodded, although he looked as if the room were spinning around him alone.””
My father nodded, although he looked as if the room were spinning around him.
I unfolded the letter.
The first line was addressed to both of us.
*Daniel and N.
I unfolded the letter.
The first line was addressed to both of us.
Daniel and Nia,
If you are reading this together, then perhaps I was right to hopeia,
If you are reading this together, then perhaps I was right to hope that one day you would stop hiding from the things that hurt you.
I read aloud.
Daniel, I know you are frightened. I know you believe that if you ignore that one day you would stop hiding from the things that hurt you.
I read aloud.
Daniel, I know you are frightened. I know you believe that if you ignore the financial records, the accusations will eventually disappear. But they the financial records, the accusations will eventually disappear. But they won't.
My father lowered his head.
You are not responsible for every lie someone won't.
My father lowered his head.
You are not responsible for every lie someone tells you. But you are responsible for what you choose to do after you discover the truth.
I swallowed and tells you. But you are responsible for what you choose to do after you discover the truth.*
I swallowed and continued.
*The trust was created to protect Nia's future. It was never intended to continued.
The trust was created to protect Nia's future. It was never intended to reward anyone for marrying into this family, and it was never intended to be used as a weapon against reward anyone for marrying into this family, and it was never intended to be used as a weapon against the people I love.
I have spoken to Harold. I have spoken to the the people I love.
I have spoken to Harold. I have spoken to the hospital. I have kept copies of everything I could obtain.
If I am unable to explain this myself hospital. I have kept copies of everything I could obtain.
If I am unable to explain this myself, please look for the original medical order and the original beneficiary agreement. Do not rely on copies provided by anyone who, please look for the original medical order and the original beneficiary agreement. Do not rely on copies provided by anyone who stands to benefit from their contents.
I paused.
The next paragraph had been underlined twice.
There stands to benefit from their contents.
I paused.
The next paragraph had been underlined twice.
There is a person who knows why the records were changed. That person may tell you that it was an innocent mistake is a person who knows why the records were changed. That person may tell you that it was an innocent mistake. Ask them to explain why the original was removed.
I looked at Detective Brooks. Ask them to explain why the original was removed.*
I looked at Detective Brooks.
“Can we identify the original medical order?””
“We'll have the examiner compare.
“Can we identify the original medical order?””
“We'll have the examiner compare the records and determine whether the original still exists.””
I returned to the letter.
*The silver the records and determine whether the original still exists.””
I returned to the letter.
The silver key marked S-17 is not the only key. The other one is with the key marked S-17 is not the only key. The other one is with the person I trusted to protect my daughter if I could not.
My hands began to tremble.
I hope you never person I trusted to protect my daughter if I could not.
My hands began to tremble.
I hope you never have to use it.
But if you do, remember this: the truth is have to use it.
But if you do, remember this: the truth is not always the most terrible thing you will discover. Sometimes the most terrible thing is how long not always the most terrible thing you will discover. Sometimes the most terrible thing is how long the people who love you have allowed you to live without it.
Evelyn.
I lowered the the people who love you have allowed you to live without it.*
Evelyn.
I lowered the letter.
The storage unit seemed suddenly silent.
My father stood with his eyes closed letter.
The storage unit seemed suddenly silent.
My father stood with his eyes closed, one hand pressed against his mouth.
Brianna had tears running down her face.
Detective Brooks carefully placed the letter in a, one hand pressed against his mouth.
Brianna had tears running down her face.
Detective Brooks carefully placed the letter in a protective sleeve.
“We'll preserve all of this,” she said.
“The records will need to be examined by the protective sleeve.
“We'll preserve all of this,” she said.
“The records will need to be examined by the appropriate specialists. We'll also contact the hospital and determine what additional documents can be obtained.””
I nodded.
appropriate specialists. We'll also contact the hospital and determine what additional documents can be obtained.””
I nodded.
But my attention had returned to the final paragraph.
*The other key is with the person I trusted to protectBut my attention had returned to the final paragraph.
The other key is with the person I trusted to protect my daughter if I could not.
I looked at my father.
“Who was that person?””
He shook his head.
“I don't my daughter if I could not.*
I looked at my father.
“Who was that person?””
He shook his head.
“I don't know.””
I looked at Brianna.
She shook her head, too.
Detective Brooks closed the box.
“Let's take know.””
I looked at Brianna.
She shook her head, too.
Detective Brooks closed the box.
“Let's take this one step at a time.””
We left the storage facility shortly after three.
The sun was this one step at a time.””
We left the storage facility shortly after three.
The sun was bright, almost painfully so, and I had to squint as we stepped bright, almost painfully so, and I had to squint as we stepped into the parking lot.
My father walked beside me toward the car.
“Nia,” he said quietly, “I need into the parking lot.
My father walked beside me toward the car.
“Nia,” he said quietly, “I need to tell you something.””
I stopped.
“What?””
He stared at the ground.
“When your mother to tell you something.””
I stopped.
“What?””
He stared at the ground.
“When your mother called me that night, she told me she had found evidence of financial fraud. She said Vanessa had been using called me that night, she told me she had found evidence of financial fraud. She said Vanessa had been using documents from the trust.””
I waited.
“I accused her of being paranoid. documents from the trust.””
I waited.
“I accused her of being paranoid. I told her she was letting her fear destroy our marriage.””
His voice cracked.
“She asked I told her she was letting her fear destroy our marriage.””
His voice cracked.
“She asked me to come back to the hospital. I told her we would talk in the morning.””
I looked at him.
“Then me to come back to the hospital. I told her we would talk in the morning.””
I looked at him.
“Then you went back anyway.””
He nodded slowly.
“I think I did.””
“Why don't you remember?””
“I don't you went back anyway.””
He nodded slowly.
“I think I did.””
“Why don't you remember?””
“I don't know. I was exhausted. I hadn't slept properly in weeks. I was drinking too much know.
I was exhausted. I hadn't slept properly in weeks. I was drinking too much coffee and barely eating.
I remember driving to the hospital at some point that night coffee and barely eating. I remember driving to the hospital at some point that night, but I can't tell you what happened after I arrived.””
He looked at me.
“I need to find out.””
I wanted to, but I can't tell you what happened after I arrived.””
He looked at me.
“I need to find out.””
I wanted to comfort him.
I wanted to tell him that he hadn't known, that comfort him.
I wanted to tell him that he hadn't known, that he had been grieving, that he had done the best he could.
But I couldn't give him absolution just because he was finally willing to confess.
“You need he had been grieving, that he had done the best he could.
But I couldn't give him absolution just because he was finally willing to confess.
“You need to find out,” I agreed.
He nodded.
Then he reached for the car door.
Before he could open it to find out,” I agreed.
He nodded.
Then he reached for the car door.
Before he could open it, my phone rang.
An unknown number.
I answered.
A man's voice came through, low and strained.
“Is this, my phone rang.
An unknown number.
I answered.
A man's voice came through, low and strained.
“Is this Nia Carter?””
“Yes. Who is this?””
“My name is Samuel Price.””
I stopped breathing.
Dr. Price continued.
Nia Carter?””
“Yes. Who is this?””
“My name is Samuel Price.””
I stopped breathing.
Dr. Price continued.
“I understand the police have found the records from St. Agnes.””
“How do you know that?””
“I understand the police have found the records from St. Agnes.””
“How do you know that?””
“Because someone called me this morning and told me what was happening.””
“Who?””
He hesitated“Because someone called me this morning and told me what was happening.””
“Who?””
He hesitated.
“Your stepmother.””
I gripped the phone.
“What did she tell you?””
“That you were.
“Your stepmother.””
I gripped the phone.
“What did she tell you?””
“That you were going to accuse me of harming your mother.””
“Did you?””
“No.””
His answer came quickly going to accuse me of harming your mother.””
“Did you?””
“No.””
His answer came quickly.
Then he added, “But I did something I have regretted every day since.””
My.
Then he added, “But I did something I have regretted every day since.””
My father turned toward me.
I put the call on speaker.
Dr. Price's voice filled the father turned toward me.
I put the call on speaker.
Dr. Price's voice filled the space between us.
“I need to tell you what happened that night. But I won't do space between us.
“I need to tell you what happened that night. But I won't do it over the phone.””
“Why should I trust you?”” I asked.
“You shouldn't,” he replied.
“Not it over the phone.””
“Why should I trust you?”” I asked.
“You shouldn't,” he replied.
“Not until you hear everything.””
He paused.
“Your mother wasn't the only person who signed a document that until you hear everything.””
He paused.
“Your mother wasn't the only person who signed a document that night.””
My father went completely still.
“What document?”” I asked.
Dr. Price took a night.””
My father went completely still.
“What document?”” I asked.
Dr. Price took a shaky breath.
“The order that changed her medication record was signed by someone who had no medical authority shaky breath.
“The order that changed her medication record was signed by someone who had no medical authority to sign it.””
“Who?””
His answer came in a whisper.
“Daniel Carter.””
to sign it.””
“Who?””
His answer came in a whisper.
“Daniel Carter.””
My father staggered backward as if someone had struck him.
I stared at him.
Dr.My father staggered backward as if someone had struck him.
I stared at him.
Dr. Price continued.
“I have the original order. I've kept it all these years because I Price continued.
“I have the original order. I've kept it all these years because I was afraid of what would happen if I destroyed it.””
“Why would my father sign a medical order?””
“I don't was afraid of what would happen if I destroyed it.””
“Why would my father sign a medical order?””
“I don't know whether he understood what he was signing.””
The line crackled.
“But I do know know whether he understood what he was signing.””
The line crackled.
“But I do know this. If you want to understand why your mother died, you need to find out what happened during the hour your father was in her room.””
The call ended.
My father this. If you want to understand why your mother died, you need to find out what happened during the hour your father was in her room.””
The call ended.
My father stood motionless beside the car.
I looked at him, at the man who had spent six years telling me he wished he stood motionless beside the car.
I looked at him, at the man who had spent six years telling me he wished he could have done more for my mother.
And for the first time, I wondered whether his missing memory was not simply could have done more for my mother.
And for the first time, I wondered whether his missing memory was not simply the result of grief.
Whether someone had given him a reason to forget.
Or whether he the result of grief.
Whether someone had given him a reason to forget.
Or whether he had signed something that made him too afraid to remember.
I reached for his hand had signed something that made him too afraid to remember.
I reached for his hand.
He didn't take it.
He stared at the phone in my palm and whispered the words.
He didn't take it.
He stared at the phone in my palm and whispered the words that shattered whatever certainty I had left.
“I remember the that shattered whatever certainty I had left.
“I remember the hospital room, Nia.””
His eyes filled with tears.
“I remember your mother asking me to save her hospital room, Nia.””
His eyes filled with tears.
“I remember your mother asking me to save her.””
He looked directly at me.
“And I remember telling her I would.””.””
May you like
He looked directly at me.
“And I remember telling her I would.””
