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Chapter 1: The Shoes I Wasn't Allowed to Have

“Put those back, Nia. Those shoes aren't for you.””

My stepmother said it so loudly that a woman browsing handbags turned around.

I stood in the middle of the children's shoe department, holding a brand-new shoebox against my chest. My fingers were wrapped tightly around its edges. Inside were the first pair of shoes I'd wanted in almost a year.

I looked down at my feet.

My sneakers were falling apart. The white fabric had turned gray, the soles were separating near my toes, and a small hole near my left pinky toe exposed the pink sock underneath.

I swallowed.

“Please, Vanessa. I really need them.””

Vanessa didn't look at my shoes. She looked at the price tag.

“Did you hear what I said?””

Her red blouse was perfectly pressed, her gold earrings caught the department-store lighting, and her nails were freshly manicured. She held the shoebox as if it were something dirty.

I was eleven years old.

And somehow, I was already learning that asking for something as ordinary as shoes could make an adult treat you like a criminal.

“My old shoes are falling apart,” I whispered.

Vanessa rolled her eyes.

“Then you should have taken better care of them.””

I stared at her.

I wanted to explain that I'd had those sneakers for almost two years. That I'd worn them through rainstorms, school playgrounds, and long walks home. That I'd cleaned them with a toothbrush because I knew Dad was working hard and I didn't want to ask him for anything unnecessary.

But Vanessa wasn't interested in explanations.

She placed the shoebox on the display shelf.

“Your father gave us a shopping budget. I have two children to take care of, and I'm not wasting money on things you don't need.””

I glanced toward the other end of the store.

Her children, Tyler and Madison, were standing beside a display of designer sneakers.

Tyler, who was thirteen, had already received two pairs of shoes. Madison, ten, had a new pink jacket draped over her arm and a pair of expensive boots in her shopping bag.

They had been shopping for nearly an hour.

Neither of them had been told to put anything back.

I looked at Vanessa again.

“Why do they get new shoes?””

Her expression changed immediately.

“Excuse me?””

“Tyler got two pairs. Madison got boots. I only asked for one pair.””

Vanessa stepped closer.

“Don't start comparing yourself to my children.””

I lowered my eyes.

“They're Dad's family too.””

For a moment, the store seemed unusually quiet.

Then Vanessa leaned toward me.

“Your father has enough problems without you making everything difficult.””

I knew that tone.

It was the tone she used whenever I mentioned my mother.

My mother, Claire, had died three years earlier. She had been the kind of woman who remembered everyone's birthday, kept handwritten recipes in a kitchen drawer, and sang while folding laundry.

She had also owned a little silver necklace with a heart-shaped pendant.

She wore it every day.

When I was younger, she used to let me hold it while she tucked me into bed.

One night, shortly before she died, she placed it in my palm.

“This is something special, sweetheart,” she had whispered.

“Not because it's expensive. Because it reminds me of the people I love.””

I remembered the cool silver against my fingers.

I remembered promising her I'd keep it safe.

After the funeral, Vanessa told me she would put Mom's jewelry somewhere secure.

I never saw it again.

Whenever I asked about it, she said the same thing.

“Your mother left a lot of things behind, Nia. You can't keep expecting everyone to preserve every little memory.””

I had stopped asking.

But I had never forgotten.

“Come on,” Vanessa said, grabbing my wrist.

“We're leaving this section.””

I pulled my arm gently away.

“Can I call Dad?””

Her mouth tightened.

“Why?””

“Because he said I could get new shoes.””

Vanessa laughed without humor.

“Your father said a lot of things. He doesn't understand how expensive it is to raise children.””

I looked at the shoebox one last time.

The shoes inside were simple white sneakers with small yellow details. Nothing extravagant. Nothing that would make anyone turn their head.

They were just shoes.

But I had imagined walking into school wearing them without worrying that someone would notice my torn soles.

I had imagined running during recess without my toes getting wet.

I had imagined feeling normal.

Vanessa took my hand and led me toward the main aisle.

“Stay close,” she ordered.

“And don't embarrass me again.””

I followed.

As we passed the store entrance, I noticed a boy standing near a display of headphones. He looked about fifteen and wore a dark hoodie. His phone was raised slightly, its camera pointed in our direction.

At first, I thought he was recording the store.

Then I noticed his eyes moving between Vanessa and me.

He looked uncomfortable.

I didn't know him.

I didn't know why he was watching.

I only knew that when Vanessa glanced toward him, he immediately lowered his phone.

We walked into the shopping center.

The mall was busy that afternoon. Children ran past the fountain, music played softly from overhead speakers, and the smell of cinnamon pretzels drifted from a nearby kiosk.

Vanessa's children were waiting beside a clothing store.

Madison held up her shopping bags.

“Mom, can we go to the makeup store next?””

Vanessa smiled.

“Of course, baby.””

Tyler pointed toward an electronics shop.

“I want those new headphones.””

“We'll see,” Vanessa replied.

I stood a few steps behind them.

Nobody asked whether I wanted anything.

Nobody asked whether my feet hurt.

I sat on a bench and tried to pull the loose sole of my left sneaker back into place.

It wouldn't stay.

A few minutes later, Vanessa returned with a bottle of water.

“Don't touch anything else,” she warned.

“I wasn't going to.””

“And stop looking at the stores like that. You make people think we don't buy you anything.””

I stared at her.

“But you don't.””

She froze.

“What did you say?””

I immediately regretted speaking.

“Nothing.””

“That's what I thought.””

She turned away.

I watched her walk toward her children, who were laughing over something on Madison's phone.

My mother would never have let this happen.

That thought hurt more than my shoes.

I reached into my hoodie pocket and touched the small folded photograph I carried everywhere. It showed Mom holding me in front of our old house. Her silver heart necklace rested against her collarbone.

I traced the edge of the photograph with my thumb.

“Miss you, Mom,” I whispered.

Then I heard a familiar voice behind me.

“Nia?””

I turned.

Dad was standing at the entrance to the shopping area.

He wore his navy-blue suit, a white shirt, and the watch Mom had given him for their tenth anniversary. Several shopping bags hung from his hands.

His expression changed the moment he saw me.

First, he smiled.

Then he looked down.

His eyes settled on my sneakers.

The smile disappeared.

“Baby,” he said slowly, “what happened to your shoes?””

I opened my mouth.

Vanessa appeared beside me before I could answer.

“Daniel! You're back already.””

Dad didn't look at her.

He was still staring at my feet.

May you like

And then he asked the question that made Vanessa's face go completely still.

“Why doesn't Nia have anything?””

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