Chapter 13: The Memory of My Death
Nobody spoke.
Not because nobody had anything to say.
Because nobody knew how to react.
The sentence was too impossible.
Too strange.
Too terrifying.
“I watched you die.””
Claire’s words stayed in the air.
I looked at her.
Then at my father.
Then at Dr. Miller.
Everyone looked like they had been waiting for this moment.
Except me.
The person whose life had been destroyed by the truth.
I swallowed.
“I died?””
Claire nodded slowly.
“Eight years ago.””
My heart pounded.
“No.””
“Yes.””
“That’s not possible.””
She looked at me with sadness.
“Ryan, you don’t remember because you weren’t supposed to.””
I laughed.
A broken, confused laugh.
“You’re telling me I died and nobody thought that was important enough to mention?””
Nobody answered.
And that terrified me.
I turned toward my father.
“Is this true?””
He didn’t respond.
That was enough.
My knees weakened.
I grabbed the edge of the table.
All my life, I had thought my biggest fear was losing my memories.
I was wrong.
My biggest fear was discovering they were protecting me from something worse.
I looked at Caroline.
“Did you know?””
Her tears started falling.
“Yes.””
The word cut deeper than anything else.
“Everyone knew.””
Caroline stepped closer.
“Ryan, please.””
“No.””
I backed away.
“You all watched me live a life that wasn’t real.””
She shook her head.
“No.””
“Then what was it?””
She had no answer.
Claire walked toward me.
“I need to show you something.””
I looked at her.
“Why should I trust you?””
“You shouldn’t.””
Her honesty surprised me.
“But you need the truth.””
She reached into her bag.
And pulled out an old video camera.
My father’s expression changed.
“Claire.””
She looked at him.
“You had years to tell him.””
The room went silent.
She placed the camera on the table.
“This is the last recording.””
Dr. Miller looked nervous.
“What did you do?””
Claire ignored him.
“I saved it before they erased everything.””
She pressed play.
The screen flickered.
Static.
Then a hospital room appeared.
My hospital room.
But this time, I saw something different.
I wasn’t lying unconscious.
I was sitting up.
Alive.
Talking.
And Claire was beside me.
My younger self looked exhausted.
“I know what you’re going to do.””
Claire on the video looked younger.
Terrified.
“I don’t know if we have another choice.””
My younger self shook his head.
“There’s always another choice.””
Claire looked away.
“Not this time.””
I watched myself take a deep breath.
“If I die…”
The room went silent.
Everyone watching the video froze.
My younger self continued:
“Don’t let them bring me back the same way.””
I stopped breathing.
What?
Claire on the video started crying.
“Ryan…”
He looked at her.
“I know what my father is planning.””
The younger me looked terrified.
“He’s going to use my memories.””
I leaned closer.
My own voice continued.
“He’s going to make a copy.””
The video glitched.
Then returned.
My younger self whispered:
“And the copy won’t know it’s a copy.””
The room went silent.
I looked at my father.
He looked away.
“No.””
My voice was barely audible.
“No.””
Claire paused the video.
“Ryan.””
I shook my head.
“That’s impossible.””
She looked at me.
“Is it?””
My mind raced.
The missing memories.
The strange gaps.
The life that began without a beginning.
The impossible things I remembered and forgot.
“What happened?””
Claire pressed play again.
The younger me continued.
“My father thinks memory is everything.””
He looked into the camera.
“But he’s wrong.””
A pause.
“Identity is more than memory.””
I felt tears forming.
Because somehow…
I knew what was coming.
The younger me whispered:
“If I don’t survive, tell whoever wakes up…”
The video paused.
Then continued.
“…that he has to choose who he wants to be.””
The screen went black.
Nobody spoke.
Finally, I whispered:
“I’m not real.””
Rachel immediately stepped forward.
“No.””
But my voice broke.
“Am I?””
Emma grabbed my hand.
“Daddy.””
I looked down.
The fear in her eyes hurt more than anything.
Because to her…
I was real.
I squeezed her hand.
“I’m sorry.””
My father spoke quietly.
“You are real.””
I looked at him.
“Don’t.””
“I mean it.””
He stepped closer.
“The process was supposed to restore memory.””
“Restore?””
“Yes.””
He looked at me.
“But something changed.””
“What?””
He looked at Lily.
Then Emma.
“You changed.””
I frowned.
“What does that mean?””
Claire answered.
“It means you weren’t just a copy.””
She looked at me.
“You became someone new.””
I shook my head.
“That doesn’t make sense.””
“It does.””
She pointed at my daughters.
“The memories they gave you weren’t fake.””
I stared.
“They?””
Claire nodded.
“Your connection to them survived the process.””
A strange calm came over me.
Because despite everything…
I knew one thing.
When Lily cried, my heart broke.
When Emma was afraid, I wanted to protect her.
No machine created that.
No experiment created that.
That was mine.
My father looked at me.
“I tried to fix what was lost.””
I stared at him.
“You destroyed everything.””
His face changed.
For the first time, I saw regret.
“I know.””
The admission surprised me.
Then the lights flickered.
Again.
Everyone turned.
Dr. Miller looked at the security monitor.
His face went white.
“What?””
I walked closer.
“What is it?””
He stared at the screen.
“It’s impossible.””
The monitor showed the outside cameras.
A vehicle was parked at the end of the driveway.
A black SUV.
A group of people were walking toward the house.
My father’s expression changed.
Not fear.
Recognition.
“Who are they?””
Nobody answered.
Then Claire whispered:
“The people who funded the research.””
My stomach tightened.
“How many?””
She looked at the screen.
“Enough.””
The front door shook.
A voice came from outside.
“Ryan Carter.””
Everyone froze.
The voice continued.
“We know you remember.””
My father closed his eyes.
May you like
And whispered:
“They came for the girls.””